I really miss my Dad

DSC_0004I’m 56 years of age. Soon my Dads passing will be coming up on his first anniversary. I never really understood if I was close to my dad or how deep my love for him was. My dad wasn’t really all that emotional. I’m not sure I ever recall the words I love you son but I knew he did.  I can tell you he was proud of his family. I find myself staring out the window thinking how cool it would be if he just came up the driveway and told me to fire up the kettle. I miss my Dad. I think I’m getting old enough now where I realize that this is all a part of life. I knew there would be a day when he left us. He had been struggling with some sickness and I tried to cheer him up a few times when it looked like he wanted to throw in the towel. I’d give him mild grieve when I’d drill him as to what doctors would tell him. He’d just tell me he wasn’t sure and carry on with another topic. My dad loved the outdoors, fishing, hunting. He like a good game golf and making wine. He provided for us, I never went hungry and always had pretty much anything I needed (Mom had a lot to do with that as well). He grumbled a bit and maybe didn’t always get the generation below him like I would suspect is the same for a lot of parents. My dad was a charmer, something which I like to think he passed down to me and me to my son. My dad could often be seen teasing a small child at a family gathering while all the other adult were off doing other things. I wish I could just tell my dad one more time that I loved him….even if that made him feel uncomfortable. I miss you Dad and I hope I can make you so proud of me. I’ll make sure I do.

your son

Dadandi

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