I stopped….but now I’ve started

rotaryway downwindWell it has certainly been sometime since I did a post. I was going through a period where I was actually wondering if what I had to say was of interest or if people cared less. I was running out of new life events and didn’t wish to simply keep repeating that I was training for a run or that I had a sailing event or I was prepping to give another inspirational speech. I had a dear friend pop by from Cincinnati and in the mist of our catch up she told me she saw or felt a difference in me. I’ll explain. It seems like I had either reached a plateau in my disability or I was no longer motivated by the things I had accomplished and in fact was telling myself I had stopped. I wasn’t golfing, it hurt. I stopped using my left leg, it was uncomfortable. I stopped giving speeches, I didn’t feel comfortable and didn’t like the prep work. I decided to quit sit skiing, I didn’t want to risk an injury. I stopped training for 5 km walks, it was exhausting. What did it matter if I could beat a time of 1 hour…who cared. Bike rides seemed to take too much effort. I was slowly going stir crazy and even when I found things to do I was bored. Was I heading towards depression? I’m not sure how long it takes to discover yourself in a new world of living. The attention was no longer on me, my story is no longer front page news, my family and friends had all returned to their own lives I’m now out of the lime light and I’m realizing there is a lot of life still out there and I best figure out what road I need to go down. So my dear friend is telling me “hey you seem to be stopping a lot of things”. Your no longer telling me all the things your going to be doing. It certainly caused me to reflect. So here are the results or corrections. With a bit of a suggestion from Marijo I’ve decided to return to school. I’ve not been accepted yet but I’m pretty confident there’s a place for me in “Accounting” (forgive me I like stats, budgets, figures) Accountants are exciting people……right?. It’s a two to three year course right here in Belleville at Loyalist college. In Sept I’m going to do a small lecture to a group of first year students at Queens university studying Occupational therapy. My sailing is in full force and I continue to improve in a tougher division this year. I just finished 5th in a tough division in Montreal. I’m golfing Labour day in our P&G golf tournament. I started training again for a 5 k walk in Ottawa in Sept. It’s the Army run I was in last year. I’m now the treasurer of two sailing organizations. We have our house up for sail to get Marijo closer to work. I’ve realized I can’t stop. I can change activities but staring out the window is not the answer. So the smile is coming back, the sense of purpose or fulfillment is returning. Life has got to be figured out by yourself. I’m back in the game! Pause every now and then but don’t stop.

 

6 thoughts on “I stopped….but now I’ve started

  1. gracebryson July 31, 2013 at 9:13 pm Reply

    Good for you!!! Glad to hear your not giving up!

  2. inspiteofallthedamage August 1, 2013 at 1:40 am Reply

    Bryan, I think that’s awesome—everything about this is awesome. Your vulnerability and honesty about where you’ve been, but also that you’re going back to school. Right on! Wishing you so much of goodness and luck.
    xoxj

  3. Holly Fillmore August 1, 2013 at 1:03 pm Reply

    I enjoy reading your posts and your always remind me to keep things in proper perspective.
    H.F.

  4. Paul m. August 1, 2013 at 1:24 pm Reply

    My skiing buddy is back! Keep kicking ass Bryan and we’ll be back at Brimacombe in no time! It’s almost winter!!! 🙂

  5. Sheila Folk August 2, 2013 at 1:08 am Reply

    So proud of you my friend!!!

  6. Tim August 9, 2013 at 8:24 pm Reply

    wow. It is amazing how we all hit those low levels regardless of where we are in life. Keep up the spirits; people do read this and take strength from you.

    btw: economists are people who are too boring to be accountants, so enjoy you new exciting career!

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